What's That Smell?

"Mommy, what's that awful smell?"

I roll down my window to take a whiff. "Eww."

"It smells like feet and throw up and glue!" says Sofia

"It smells like that stuff that mommy uses in the wash to makes the white. That bleach stuff! Mom, what's it smell like to you?" asks Mia.

I take in another whiff of the air. It did smell kind of bleachy, kind of bitter--

a scent that only women and homosexual men would recognize...it smelled like semen! The spermatic aroma danced through the air as it poured from the hundreds of trees that lined the streets of the school.  

I thought I was being my usual overly-dramatic self. So I decided to do what I do best...Google it.I pulled out my smart phone and logged on to the internet.

And thank goodness I did. There ARE trees out there with this foul smelling odor!

According to Wikipedia, they're named the Trees of Heaven, (or Ailanthus altissima), an invasive species from China, brought to California by Chinese miners and railroad workers around the turn of the last century. They has since earned the monikers “stinktree” and “ghetto palm” (for their ability to grow in the harshest of urban conditions). 

Ok, not only that..but there were MANY inquiries about this "Sperm Tree" online. A few of the questions ranged from:

There's this tree that sort of smells like human sperm in summer (I think when  it flowers). A pretty strong distinct smell. What's it called? Is there a plant/tree that smells like male sperm?

to comments like:

 

. . .when I took those deep cleansing breaths this morning, I caught a whiff of Sperm tree in the air, and it was it was pleasing to the senses...

So, remember- when you're driving around town and smell the fragrance of semen, it's most likely the beautiful Trees of Heaven and not you... or George Michael.

"Hey mom..you still didn't answer my question! What do you think it smells like?!"

I smile and reply, "Almonds... yes, almonds...."

And with that, Mia sits back in her seat and mumbles, "Ugh, if that's what almonds smell like,  I will never, ever eat almonds...even when I grow up...ever!"

I smirk- Thatta girl...

;)