If you're like me, you can never find the perfect pair of jeans.
I admit, I'm hippy and yeah- I'm still holding on to some of that post baby weight from my youngest child who will be 6 this year (I swear, I'm working on it). But no matter what kind of jeans I try on, they never look as good as they do in magazines on the models. I can never find jeans that are cute and comfortable while at the same time preventing the "spillage" of fat over my waist or what most would call "muffin top" or in Spanish llanta- tire.
Jeans can age you. They really can! I know some women who are in their mid-20's that wear the "mom jeans" and they're immediately thrust forward 20 years. We all know the mom jeans: high, skinny waist, no pockets, tapered legs and pleats that accentuate your gut. And the look wouldn't be complete without the infamous "tucking in" of the t-shirt into the jeans and adding a belt. Ai-yi-yi... this style does not look attractive on anyone!! You could probably get away with this look when you're 80.
How about the cameltoe jeans? Jeans so tight that everyone can read your lips. How can having a wedgie in the front be comfortable? It isn't sexy when guys point and laugh at your "moose knuckle". Plus, i don't think it's very healthy for you either. Leave the cameltoe pants to ice skaters, ballet dancers and porn stars.
And where would we be without the low-rise, hip-hugging jeans that allow you to show your thong? Very classy. And why is it always the 300 lb. woman I see flashing her thong atop her low rise jeans?
Nevertheless, one day I will find that perfect pair of jeans that will shrink and lift my butt, slim my hips and suck in my muffin top....
Yeah, right~ who am I kidding?
