And this too shall pass...

I am the mother of Mia (9) and Sofia (5). We constantly visit the stage of , “she-copied-me” tantrums, “she’s-looking- at- me” outbursts and the ever so famous backseat boxing matches. My mantra has come to be, “and this too, shall pass..” It’s what keeps me sane.

If you’re a parent, then you are pretty familiar with the “she-copied-me” tantrum. It can be anything from one child copying what the other child says to the more common act of imitating the other child’s physical movements. 

I’ve learned to be pretty passive about this until chunks of hair and clothing start flying all over the place. That's when I throw the “red card” in and break it up as opposed to my husband who will just yell from his office, “WHAT IS GOING ON OUT THERE?!” and then continue to go about doing whatever he does. 

Does he investigate the disturbance that is happening during the Wizards of Waverly Place show?

Noooo, that would be too easy. 

That’s when mommy comes in with her black and white jersey ready to eject the players.

“She’s looking at me!” 

Ahh..the sound of those four words is enough to make my skin crawl. Just when you think they are getting along you hear this line. You’d think that there was some retractable, evil beam coming from each other’s pupils. 

This usually leads into backseat boxing.

I believe backseat boxing dates back to when the first car came off the assembly line. If you have a brother or sister, you know what this extracurricular event entails. Let me delight you with one of my experiences:

 It’s been a long day and we are driving home from school and work. Mia says something that Sofia doesn’t agree with (it’s usually something as trivial as determining who’s mommy I am) and kicks her leg. Mia retaliates with an arm nudge. The whining starts and Fairytopia Barbie with one boob hanging out, goes flying across the seat and hits Mia on the leg. Mia cries bloody murder (the older one is always the more emotional). Then the “Everybody Poops” book is heaved across the car seat and knocks Sofia in the arm. Now..the heavy artillery comes out. The next thing I see in my rearview mirror is a Nintendo DS game machine chucked to the right and a Hello Kitty backpack fly to the left.   

I try to keep my eyes on the road while threatening them with solitary confinement in their room of bazillion toys. But that just triggers the accusations that usually start with “She did it first!” 

I am so exhausted by the end of my work day, I don’t have the energy to discipline my girls. So instead, I calmly talk about how grandma (my mom) used to drive with a fly swatter and every time that my brother and I acted up, she’d swat that thing like she was Barry Bonds. Their eyes widened with interest. 

I continued, ”Now, would you like me to bring a fly swatter with me every time we went somewhere?” 

They both looked at each other and shook their heads. Everything returned to normal for at least the rest of the drive home.

I started to feel a sense of peacefulness as I drove into the driveway.

And then…

Fairytopia Barbie’s magical unicorn hits me in the back of the head.

How many more years until college...out of state?