One of the most wonderful pleasures of being the mother of little girls is being able to be whisked away into the amazing world of sprinkles and cupcakes. Dolls and fancy dresses. Being in my 30’s, I notice that I still have a great fascination for Barbies, stuffed animals and the Play-doh that transports me back to Kindergarten. I must admit that I get more excited about the new line of accessories that Mattel comes out with every month for Barbie than my daughters, Mia and Sofia do. They both appreciate my enthusiasm but most of the time, wish I'd just leave the room and let them be. The truth is, I’m still a little kid at heart.
I love the fall season. I love Halloween, Thanksgiving and utlimately Christmas. I must admit though, I was pretty taken back with the assortment of Halloween costumes offered this year! I was browsing through a few costume websites online. Mia wanted to be Betty Rubble. Sofia wanted to be Belle (which was awesome because Mia was Belle 2 years ago and just handed down her costume). As I was perusing the 9-12 year old costume section for Betty Rubble, I came across: Sexy Pirate Girl, Scandinavian Sweetie, Sassy Witch. With every click of the mouse, my jaw dropped closer and closer to the ground. Who the hell thinks that dressing a 9-year-old up as a witch whore is a good idea? Oh wait, maybe getting them all dolled up with thigh high fur boots as a "Scandanavian Sweetie" would be a better idea?! Shame on you parents who let your little girls walk out of the house like this to go trick-or-treating. Hmmm...can't wait until next year when you can get the tween glitter thong with acrylic heels and portable stripper pole.
The Disney catalog online is fun to go through. It loves to "tease” the kids with the Halloween costumes coming out for the year. Of course, I clicked on the link and found myself bored with all of the little boy costumes on parade. How fun could it possibly be to dress up as Woody from Toy Story? Sully from Monsters, Inc.? Or Buzz Lightyear? I was bored to tears when low and behold I came across the Disney Princess section. I started fantasizing as I clicked on each beautiful costume. Little girls had the ability to be transformed into Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Princess Jasmine, Snow White, Cinderella, Mulan, Pocahantas or Ariel for as little as-- $50.00. I awoke from my Disney daydream. $50.00?! Oh, but it didn’t stop there. If you wanted to be Christmas time Belle with the velvet cape, that was going to cost you an additional $20.00. Yes, $70.00 to be a Disney Princess for less than 3 hours on Halloween night. There was also a section for Disney Princes’: Prince Eric, Prince Charming, Prince Ali, Prince Phillip. I don’t think those would be the first choice of any heterosexual little boy.
But after clicking on every Disney Prince, I found myself wondering about my daughters’ future princes’. What would he be like? Would they elope? Would I have to get a home equity line of credit to pay for a gigantic wedding? Would it be a shotgun wedding?
I know that in some societies, parents really do select their children’s spouse- and plan the whole wedding extravaganza- when they can barely tie their shoes. But it's always interesting to hear our children's take on it...
“Handsome!” announced my 5 year old, when asked what she wants in a husband. She also wanted him to be rich, have a castle (alas, Prince Charming’s influence), be “funny”, have a pony and enjoy watching cartoons.
Mia had already told me that she wanted 12 children, so I asked her who would watch the kids. “The nanny,” she explained. “that way I can do what I want all day.” Ahhh....
Honestly, I feel I should warn my daughter’s future suitors. She is accustomed to people waiting on her, spoiling her and listening to her tantrums. And she’s not alone. “Gilbert doesn’t plan to get married,” my fellow preschool mother says of her 5- year- old. “He tells me that he’ll just have girls live with him to cook and clean.” His younger brother, on the other hand, knows exactly what he wants to be when he grows up: “A Daddy.” It’s hard to imagine what kind of adults these kids will grow up to be, but I can’t keep myself from imagining little boys as potential husbands. This one is flirtatious, I find myself thinking. He’ll become an adulterer. That one is self-centered; perhaps he’ll grow up to be a male model or an actor. That one is neat, tidy and fashion conscious...gay.
I am unsure if it's just me, or if other mothers think about things the way i do? My vision varies from lying, cheating, jerk to someone incredibly sensitive and nice. Yes, we all have tormenting, unreasonable fears. And we also have a desperate, protective wish for our children’s happiness—combined with an undeniable envy (conscious or not) of those who will be happy with them, without us.
Maybe my daughters will have husbands who are generous and tolerant. Will such a husband materialize in 2020 or so? And would I want that for Mia and Sofia? Ugh, I’m happy the choice isn't mine to make. We take so much time molding and shaping our kids into what we want that —shockingly soon—we must begin working on ourselves to let go.
In the end, I am reminded of the finale of the T.V. show , Friends when Monica and
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