They really thought they were making our life easier when they introduced this contraption to us.
They thought that every mom with kids under the age of ten would be thanking the Lord for the introduction of this vehicle into the shopping world.
It would be a tool to help make all mothers shopping experiences more pleasurable....
so they thought.
If you're a mother, you know exactly what I'm talking about---the grocery cart from hell...
The makeshift truck, fire engine, rocket ship, whale, police car, grocery cart for kids that holds about $5 worth of groceries.
I'll be the first to admit that initially, I thought it was a great idea. What more does a kid want than to be pushed around in a rocket ship shopping cart while mom loads it up with food and snacks?! Awesome idea, right?!
Not so much.
Here is the real deal of what goes down with these carts:
Mom drives up to the grocery store.
Kid insists on sitting in a rocket ship grocery cart.
It's a Saturday, so inventory is low on the cool carts.
Kid cries and whines.
Mom scours the parking lot looking for one to shut the kid up.
Mom finds one.
The one mom finds is blocked by 10 regular shopping carts in the cart return area and has a loud squeaky wheel.
Kid is still whining.
Mom manages to pull it out after getting bumped and bruised.
Kid whines because it's not the "right one".
Mom bribes kid with candy.
Kid accepts bribe and gets in cart.
Mom maneuvers the rocket ship with the grace of a bull in a china shop through the small aisles.
Mom barely gets past the fruit & vegetable section and kid is dragging one of his feet outside the side door as mom pushes the cart.
Mom starts to shop a little faster and gets to the dairy section.
Kid is now on top of the rocket ship
Mom pulls him off
Kid starts to whine and now insists on sitting INSIDE the cart with the rest of the groceries.
Mom refuses.
Kid whines and asks if she's almost done shopping.
Kid wants a doughnut.
Mom is frustrated because there is no where to put the 20 lb bag of dog food, 12 pack of Bounty paper towels or the Charmin 24 count package.
Kid whines about being bored and tired and that his feet hurt.
Mom picks up kid and carries him the rest of the way while pushing the rocket ship cart .
Kid is no longer piloting the rocket ship- the 20lb bag of dog food is now occupying the space.
Mom's child-induced scoliosis is aggravated by the weight of the kid on her hip.
Mom doesn't look forward to check out time.
The kid bagging the groceries shoves $179 worth of groceries into the rocket ship instead of getting a regular cart
Mom, still holding kid, tries to maneuver the rocket ship cart back to her vehicle in the parking lot
Mom is swerving left and right
Kid still doesn't want to be put down
Mom bumps and scratches the car with the rocket ship cart
Mom places kid in car seat and pushes the rocket ship cart back to the return area
Kid cries for the rocket ship cart
Mom slits wrists
Sound familiar?
The mothers of America need to band together to rid our grocery stores of these contraptions. We no longer need to be subjected to the abuse of the pimped out grocery carts!Mothers unite.
Join the fight: Mothers Against Pimped Out Grocery Carts
And... well... until then just leave the kid at home.
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