Mom...

This picture sits in my office at work.

I can't help but smile when I look at it.

It has all the elements that make me happy: the wind, the beach, the white sand between my 4 year old toes...and my mother...

I look at this picture and I see a child with no worries in the world with a mother who constantly dotes over her with all her love and support; a father behind the camera who captures the moment on film knowing that one day his daughter will look back on this photo with heartfelt emotion and love.

I still hear the waves crashing in the background and the seagulls fluttering above.

I still smell her Oil of Olay cream and the scent of her flowery perfume. It's a perfect mixture with the fresh ocean air and warm sun.

Her warm hugs and infectious laughter still resonate within my soul.

The joy, the energy, the light in her eyes when she looked at me. I was her world.

The smiles...the happiness...the comfort of being a kid.

A blessed childhood.

A moment in time captured to remind me of the simplicity of life and what really matters: Family-Love-Togetherness

This photo captures the essence of who I am today: a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend.

Time goes by so fast, I can hardly catch my breath.

I now create these memories with my little girls. I, now, the doting mommy with all the love and support to give.

In my daughters' eyes, I'm now the hero.

But...I still need her.... my mom...my hero...

If I could just hold my mother's hand and dig my four year old little toes into the white sand once again...

Stars...are they squishy or hard?

My five-year-old, Sofia has a great mind.

Her thoughts amaze me and really bring me back to the simplicity and wonderment of life. Let me share some of her most recent thoughts and comments:

- Sofia didn't want to participate in her school walk-a-thon because she thought it was a

walk-a-THONG and that everyone had to show up to the school track in a THONG

- She told me that she was thinking about the stars in the sky and wondering if they were "squishy or hard"

- She asked how soon she could get her hair cut into a "side bang"

- She recently asked her Godfather "who" he was wearing. He didn't quite understand until she pulled back his collar and and read the label. She then responded, "L.L. Bean?! I've never heard of it.."

- Sofia found a penny on the ground and said, "Look mommy, a penny from heaven! God is reminding me that He's thinking of me!"

- She claims to have voted for Obama

- I took her to The Gap to get her a few things and when I picked out a cute dress she said, "SERIOUSLY?" in her most serious tone ever

- She plans her birthday gift list 12 months in advance. She has the "Smooth Away" hair removal kit as well as the Bendaroos as #4 and #5 on her list (As Seen on TV is a fave of hers)

- Sofia told me that she heard a kid on the playground call another kid a bad word that started with an "A". I tried to guess, "Hmm, did he call him an ASS?" She rolled her eyes and said, "Worse! He called him an IDIOT". At that point I was confused and ended the conversation there

- She decided that she needed to leave the table at dinner and go poop. While we were all sitting & eating, she came out of the bathroom, spread her buttcheeks and asked if it was all gone. (She was proud of her wiping job)

- Sofia says she knows how babies get inside the tummies of mommies. God comes at night and takes a tiny egg out of his pocket and pushes it through the mommy's bellybutton into her stomach and it grows and grows until it's time to push it out of her butt

- She loves infomercials and can recite any commercial from the Sham-Wow to the Aqua Globes

- She believes that Santa watches us through all the vents in the house throughout the year

- She refers to any song that I sing to on the radio as "Old School"

- She dropped out of karate because she felt that it was incomprehensible that the sensei would make a 5 year old do push-ups

- Sofia believes that cotton candy is a good breakfast

Only through the eyes of a child do we remember how funny and wonderful life can be.

Thank you, Sofia for reminding mommy that even with all the daily stresses and challenges,

life is still beautiful and simple and fun...

I love you.

Mia Turned 10

Today my daughter turned 10.

It's a bittersweet moment for me. I'm excited that she's entered the double digits and has a lot to look forward to come her teenage years...and yet...my heart is heavy with the thoughts of yesterday...

Ten years ago at 9:43am and four hours of labor, she entered this world- all 7lbs 12oz. of her. Like any new mother, as soon as my eyes met hers, the love was instanstaneous. Her tiny little hand grasped my finger and she fit so perfectly in my arms; at that very moment, nothing else in the world mattered.

I named her Mia Angelica. I wanted a name that was short and sweet but exuded confidence and strong will. After seeing the world renowned soccer player, Mia Hamm, on T.V. I knew that was the name I wanted.

When we brought her home from the hospital, she had what seemed like, a never-ending bout with colic. There were many sleepless nights and endless tears (and that was just me). I thought I was supposed to have one of those "perfect" babies that you see on T.V.- you know, those shiny, smiley babies that never cry. I was in for such a rude awakening. She hated sleeping in her crib, always wanted to be held and insisted on falling asleep on my chest every time.

Mia hated to be away from me. I could not leave the room without her wailing like someone was pulling her toenails out one by one with a pair of rusty pliers. She always wanted to be carried and had to have me at arm's length at all times. I thought this phase would never end and that I would forever be joined at the hip with her.

But as time went on, she started to need me less and less...

She no longer needs me to kiss her goodbye when I drop her off at school in the morning (that just doesn't happen in 4th grade). She pours her own milk in her cereal bowl. She showers and gets ready for school by herself. When she talks with her best friend, Jade on the phone, she leaves the room. She doesn't need me to hold her hand anymore when crossing the street. She closes the bathroom door now and and can tie her own ponytail. She has her own opinions ...her own thoughts...her own dreams.What happened to that little hand that grabbed my finger so tightly 10 years ago?

All this time, she had been letting go; without me noticing, she slowly unleashed her grip from my finger and also...my life.

Independence replaced me.

As I sit here tonight watching her sleep, I can't help but feel sad. My little girl is growing up. Her little round face has metamorphasized overnight right in front of me. Her long bodyframe and her size 5 narrow feet show all the signs of a beauty in the making. I no longer see the chubby, fat toes of a toddler or a sticky mouth of a first grader.

I wipe away my "happy tears" and bend down to feel her cheek and kiss her forehead...

and out of nowhere...

she reaches for my finger

and holds tight...

Attack of the Panty Drawer

When you become a mom, practicality takes precedence over fabulosity. And this is quite evident when it comes to my underwear. I can't bear to throw away my most favorite, my most comfortable, underwear.

I will be the first to admit, I will hold on to a pair of panties for years until the elastic is ripping through and the material is almost transparent. It's sooo hard to let go. So I convince myself to just throw them back in my panty drawer and get rid of them later. From time to time, I will do my best to "clean out" my underwear drawer and this is when I start finding different types of panties and thongs and question why I never wear them...until I try them on:

-too tight

-pinches my gut in half

-rides up my buttcheeks

-squeezes my outter thigh fat

And you think I'd just get rid of 'em right??

Wrong.

I throw them back into my drawer so as not to hurt their panty feelings.

But this does give me a reason to go panty shopping.

Shopping for undergarments takes all day and it's excrutiating; kinda like standing in line at the DMV or getting your wisdom tooth pulled.

First stop: Victoria's Secret.

I ask myself what the hell am I doing in here? I browse around amongst all the 16 year olds shopping for push-up bras and lace thongs. I really don't like the way Victoria's Secret panties feel... I don't care what you call them: V-string, Brazilian cut, Very Sexy..they are all very uncomfortable. The elastic digs into my muffin top and keeps riding up my butt. They're made for women who are about 60lbs with no curves and no ass. Why don't I look like the model in the pic when I wear these panties?

I end up leaving with lipgloss and body spray.

Next stop: Fredericks of Hollywood.

Again, I ask myself what the hell am I doing here? I walk around the store and every picture seems to have a woman posing with one finger between her painted lips and every pair of panties looked like they'd be painful to wear. With names like "Naughty Knickers" and "Hollywood Exxtreme", you'd think I was getting prepped for a porn scene with Ron Jeremy. "Cotton" is a foreign word; leather, lace and crotchless? Then you're speaking their language.

I leave with mints shaped like lips and a pink hair tie.

Final Stop: Macy's.

I decide to forgo the sexy undies and stick to what makes me the happiest~ cute, cotton, bikini Jockey brand panties in the 3-pack. Very unsexy, but practical and oh-so-comfortable-- like me! And they're on sale! Woo-hoo! I'll take two! I merrily skip out of the store with my plastic white bag.

I've come to realize that my panties don't define me. I'm the sexy one, not my underwear. Nothing is sexier than a woman comfortable in her own skin and confident in who she is.

These are the moments that matter.

So bring on the ugly, high-waisted grandma panties..I'll rock those and still be stunning!

(..and then they'll join the rest of the panty posse in the back of my drawer.)

Shout Out to Thefreshfiends.com

I gotta give credit to a couple of pretty, intelligent, classy women who created a fun, positive website with a focus on street savy style and sisterhood with a sprinkle of entertainment in top!

Lady La and Miss Summer bring you http://www.thefreshfiends.com/

THINK: Harajuku Lovers meet Hip Hop Love

Both La and Summer keep it real and keep you in the know with everything trendy. I guarantee, once you've had a taste of http://www.thefreshfiends.com/, you'll be coming back for more!!
Much love to my girls xoxoxo

My Car...The Traveling Junk Drawer

Yup. There is no denying it. My car is a traveling junk drawer.

The thing about it is...it's not any ordinary, small junk drawer.

It's an SUV, TAHOE- SIZED junk drawer.

BUT, I have an excuse.

I travel 36 miles to downtown everyday to drop off my kids and go to work and then I drive 36 miles back home in the evening. We spend A LOT of time in the car- which means A LOT of crap accumulates. I knew it was time for me to clean things out when everytime I took a turn, I felt all the junk fall from one side of the truck to the to other.

I took inventory the other day when I attempted to just "pick up" a little bit and here's just a few things I came across:

-overdue library book from the Phoenix library

-Barbie with no top

-Broken yo-yo

-DVD's with missing cases

-DVD cases with missing DVD's

-Hair clips

-2 tubes of Hannah Montanta lip gloss

-2 kick balls

-Half eaten bag of melted M&M's

-Homework from 2 months ago

-1 empty Capri Sun

-2 quarters, 3 pennies and a nickel with hair

-Pack of Bubblicious

-Jonas Brothers book

-School uniform top

-Crayons

-4 markers

-Girl Scout cookies in the box

-Pillow

-1 flip flop

-Headband

-Stickers from the Dr's office

-4 goldfish crackers

-Littlest Pet Shop toys

-Nintendo DS games

-Bookmarker

-Movie tickets

-Farting slime (stick fingers in a bucket of slime & it makes fart noises)

-Sketch books

-Stuffed monkey

-Stuffed puppy with a hot pink tutu

-A McDonald's french fry

-Sonic cherry slush stain on the rug

Oh...I could go on and on, but you get the idea. It was enough to start my own little retail business. I constantly tell myself that I'm never going to let it get like that again ! But I fail miserably everytime.

I used to be envious of other people who had spotless cars that smelled like crisp, new leather. No smudges on the windows or sticky residue on the seat. They were the ones who didn't have to throw things under the seat or hide all the crap under a jacket when other people rode in the car with them.

I used to be envious.

But now I realize how lucky I really am.

Taking inventory of my car also forced me to take inventory of my life and how blessed I really am. I have transportation. I have beautiful, healthy children. I have a car of things that they love. It will only be a matter of time before those childhood items will be replaced with memories. It's hard to accept that one day I won't have my "junk drawer"to complain about. (It was hard enough getting rid of their infant car seats).

I sigh heavily as I hold the stuffed puppy in the hot pink tutu close to my heart. I place it back in my car...along with the pillow,the topless Barbie, stuffed monkey, Nintendo Games, crayons, markers...

and yes...

even the farting slime :)

Mom Jeans

If you're like me, you can never find the perfect pair of jeans.

I admit, I'm hippy and yeah- I'm still holding on to some of that post baby weight from my youngest child who will be 6 this year (I swear, I'm working on it). But no matter what kind of jeans I try on, they never look as good as they do in magazines on the models. I can never find jeans that are cute and comfortable while at the same time preventing the "spillage" of fat over my waist or what most would call "muffin top" or in Spanish llanta- tire.

Jeans can age you. They really can! I know some women who are in their mid-20's that wear the "mom jeans" and they're immediately thrust forward 20 years. We all know the mom jeans: high, skinny waist, no pockets, tapered legs and pleats that accentuate your gut. And the look wouldn't be complete without the infamous "tucking in" of the t-shirt into the jeans and adding a belt. Ai-yi-yi... this style does not look attractive on anyone!! You could probably get away with this look when you're 80.

How about the cameltoe jeans? Jeans so tight that everyone can read your lips. How can having a wedgie in the front be comfortable? It isn't sexy when guys point and laugh at your "moose knuckle". Plus, i don't think it's very healthy for you either. Leave the cameltoe pants to ice skaters, ballet dancers and porn stars.

And where would we be without the low-rise, hip-hugging jeans that allow you to show your thong? Very classy. And why is it always the 300 lb. woman I see flashing her thong atop her low rise jeans?

Nevertheless, one day I will find that perfect pair of jeans that will shrink and lift my butt, slim my hips and suck in my muffin top....

Yeah, right~ who am I kidding?