In Her Shoes...

The Shape-Up shoe has to be the ugliest shoe ever invented.

The Shape-Up shoe joins the ranks of Birkenstocks, Platform Flip Flops and Teva Sandals.

EWWW…

If you own any of the above, take them outside and burn them immediately. They are the most unflattering shoe a woman could ever put on her feet.

The Shape-Up shoe claims to firm buttock muscles, tone and firm thigh muscles, tighten abdominal muscles and firms calf muscles. I can think of a million other ways to firm my muscles than subjecting myself to ugly ass shoes.

Take a good look at these shoes…I mean really. Do not compromise your sense of style when trying to get your fitness on by sporting these kicks. There’s a reason Joe Montana endorses them…they’re orthopedic, fit for a dude and no one else would wear ‘em if they weren’t getting paid for it.

And let me talk shit about a few of the other shoes that have made Sandra’s U.S.L. (Ugliest Shoe List):




The Teva Sandals
Oh Lord! Ok, no offense to my lesbian friends. You know I love you and I always tell it like it is, but you guys seem to love these sandals! What is it with gay women and man shoes? Hazel? LeTonya? Can you tell me? Seriously, if I was batting for your team, you would get NO GAME if I saw you sporting these with your cargo shorts. No excuse ladies…gay does not mean style-retarded. Remember… Velcro (especially on shoes) is a no-no.




The Birkenstock
There is only one reason you should have a pair of these in your closet: you were actually AT Woodstock and kept your sandals for the great memories of your unshaved bush, smoking spliffs and having group sex in the mud. Get rid of ‘em if you weren’t part of that movement.







The Platform Flip Flop
Trailer Park. Dirty. Enough said.


I’m not trying to point any fingers or say that because you own any of the aforementioned shoes that you are fashion outcast.

But…

If the shoe fits…..