I'm a heavy sleeper.
The Polar Express could run right through the middle of my room and I wouldn't budge an inch.
But something that instanteously disturbs my slumber is...
My dog licking his balls.
I hate it. It equates to someone running their fingernails across a chalkboard.
My 6 year-old Shih-Tzu, Gretzky (appropriately named after the Great One, Wayne Gretzky) loves to lick his nuts, smack dab in the middle of the night in our bedroom. He's not discreet about it either. You'd think he'd like some privacy as he cleans his fuzzy peaches, but he really doesn't care. Although, he does make sure he is sitting right by my side of the bed when starts his nightly routine.
He licks his nuggets with the precision of a pornstar and then pants heavily afterwards.
Ron Jermy has nothing on him.
By the time Gretzky is done, I'm wide awake. Digusted by the slurping matinee. I open my eyes to catch him staring at me. I throw a pillow at him and turn to try and get back to sleep...
and then...
I glance back to see act 2....
Pillow Humping.
Ack!!
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