Pet Peeve #76
Unsanitary Women
Nothing I hate more than public restrooms.
What’s even worse is walking into a ladies restroom and seeing how filthy women can be.
There are some women out there that have NO SHAME.
I’ve been witness to many things in the powder room and it ain’t pretty! Let me share a few of my favorite bathroom characters:
The Faux Washer- She is the one who comes out of the stall, sets her purse down and looks in the mirror pretends to fuss with her hair for a few minutes in front of the sink, but doesn’t ever wash her hands. She leaves like she’s in a hurry and smells her hands on the way out.
The Bloody Valentine- She is the chick that leaves her bloody tampon floating in the toilet. She doesn’t check to see if it was ever flushed completely down the pipe. She could care less for the next person that sees the aftermath of her bloody outpour. This character trait is not limited to just the teen factor. There are many grown ass women that can’t handle their red tide. Check yourself.
The Gangsta- She is quick to do a drive-by shit. She comes in with the quickness, doesn’t care who’s around and drops the biggest doo-doo ever and leaves.
The Queefer- She is the chick that comes in and lets out vaginal farts as she pees. If you look under the stall, she’s probably wearing some ugly ass Birkenstocks or Velcro, leather sandals. She’ll wait ‘til everyone is out of the restroom to make her exit.
The Pad Thai- The chick that still uses pads and doesn’t care to wrap the used ones up, but rips it from her panties and just throws it half-way into the miniature trashcan. It sticks out half way so that you have a nice visual of her blood clots and shit marks.
The Cougher- She is the one that comes in to take a dump and coughs to mask the splash of her shit hitting the water, or to cover the sound of her wiping her muddy ass.
The Talker- She is the chick that can’t put her phone down while she’s using the restroom. She is the one in the stall that is talking/cussing loud enough for everyone to hear about her baby daddy sleeping with her girl, LaQueefa .
The Sprinkler- This is the one that leaves pee-pee drips all over the toilet seat. You can’t seem to figure out how that happens if one wipes their vagina properly. But then again, we’re talking about dirty women.
The Flusher- The Flusher is the girl who comes in to take a crap and flushes right before it hits the water..and will continually flush to avoid the embarrassment and the smell (NOT to be confused with The Cougher)
The Panty Dropper- She is the chick that as soon as she drops her panties, the smell of day old fish and feet permeate the bathroom. As soon as you walk into the stall that she previously used the odor has the ability to render you immobile. Beware.
The next time you’re in the ladies room, take notice of these characters.
You will never, ever enter another public restroom the same way again…
