Nothing worse than opening up your fridge door and things toppling all over you with the “old food” odor dancing around your nostrils. I admit..I’m the worst when it comes to throwing crap out. The kitchen trashcan is about 10 steps away but it commands too much of an effort on my part to walk over and throw anything out. Like many household items, I have a love/hate relationship with my refrigerator…so let me share a few of my issues:
FTS “Fridge-to-Trash-to-Sink” Domino Effect
You may of experienced it, but let me set the scenario so that you are witness to the mindset of a madwoman: I open up the fridge. I see a bazillion (ok, 5 or 6) Tupperware containers of leftovers. I think to myself, “Hmm, Sandra, it would probably be a good idea to take those containers out and make more space..” Now, that’s what the level-headed Sandra thinks. But then the tired, working mom, Sandra says, “Shit, that means I’ll have to take all these containers to the trashcan, scrape out all the crap and THEN go back to the sink and wash them out! And it’s not going to be easy because there is food in those containers that I don’t even remember making and now have taken on a different life form..blechhh!” So, I convince myself that the smartest thing to do would be to throw everything out to “protect “everyone from any harmful bacteria. I’m very considerate that way.
Take-Out Graveyard
My fridge doubles as a graveyard for take-out food. Once those Styrofoam boxes, Chinese take-out boxes, paper bags and/or earth friendly containers hit the fridge, it’s lights out…literally. I can hear the food scream as I transport them from my car to my kitchen. They know that their demise is near. I don’t know why I am such a food murderer. I should leave that last bite of cheesecake on the plate, that last helping of Pad Thai, that last fork of feta chicken salad….but do I? Nooooo. I convince myself that I shouldn’t be wasteful and that there are starving children all over the world who would kill for those last three Pad Thai noodles. So I get everything boxed up to make it’s way through the food funeral procession to my fridge. My Take-Out graveyard also signifies how unhealthy I’ve been eating and how much money I’ve been throwing away. It’s just not a good look. Have I gotten better? Hell no. I just keep pushing each container until it hits the back of the refrigerator where it meets it’s untimely death and someone else ends up throwing it out. Forgive me, Father…
Condiment Crazy
I’m crazy about condiments. You name it, I have it. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, horseradish, relish, cock sauce (Sriracha), Cholula, Tabasco, wasabi, pickles, pickled ginger, pepperoncinis, soy sauce, fish sauce..just to name a few. And with the exception of the ketchup and mayonnaise, they’re all probably expired. But they look cute in the side door of the fridge and I don’t feel like throwing all those glass bottles out which in turn will make my trash bag heavier causing undue strain on my back when I’m forced to take the full bag out to the main garbage can. Makes sense, right?
Ok, maybe I’m a tad neurotic. I can deal with that…another time.
But for now, I gotta figure out what I’m going to wear to the P.F. Chang’s lettuce wrap memorial…
FTS “Fridge-to-Trash-to-Sink” Domino Effect
You may of experienced it, but let me set the scenario so that you are witness to the mindset of a madwoman: I open up the fridge. I see a bazillion (ok, 5 or 6) Tupperware containers of leftovers. I think to myself, “Hmm, Sandra, it would probably be a good idea to take those containers out and make more space..” Now, that’s what the level-headed Sandra thinks. But then the tired, working mom, Sandra says, “Shit, that means I’ll have to take all these containers to the trashcan, scrape out all the crap and THEN go back to the sink and wash them out! And it’s not going to be easy because there is food in those containers that I don’t even remember making and now have taken on a different life form..blechhh!” So, I convince myself that the smartest thing to do would be to throw everything out to “protect “everyone from any harmful bacteria. I’m very considerate that way.
Take-Out Graveyard
My fridge doubles as a graveyard for take-out food. Once those Styrofoam boxes, Chinese take-out boxes, paper bags and/or earth friendly containers hit the fridge, it’s lights out…literally. I can hear the food scream as I transport them from my car to my kitchen. They know that their demise is near. I don’t know why I am such a food murderer. I should leave that last bite of cheesecake on the plate, that last helping of Pad Thai, that last fork of feta chicken salad….but do I? Nooooo. I convince myself that I shouldn’t be wasteful and that there are starving children all over the world who would kill for those last three Pad Thai noodles. So I get everything boxed up to make it’s way through the food funeral procession to my fridge. My Take-Out graveyard also signifies how unhealthy I’ve been eating and how much money I’ve been throwing away. It’s just not a good look. Have I gotten better? Hell no. I just keep pushing each container until it hits the back of the refrigerator where it meets it’s untimely death and someone else ends up throwing it out. Forgive me, Father…
Condiment Crazy
I’m crazy about condiments. You name it, I have it. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, horseradish, relish, cock sauce (Sriracha), Cholula, Tabasco, wasabi, pickles, pickled ginger, pepperoncinis, soy sauce, fish sauce..just to name a few. And with the exception of the ketchup and mayonnaise, they’re all probably expired. But they look cute in the side door of the fridge and I don’t feel like throwing all those glass bottles out which in turn will make my trash bag heavier causing undue strain on my back when I’m forced to take the full bag out to the main garbage can. Makes sense, right?
Ok, maybe I’m a tad neurotic. I can deal with that…another time.
But for now, I gotta figure out what I’m going to wear to the P.F. Chang’s lettuce wrap memorial…
